Chapter 3: The Teacher Describes the Student’s Psychopathy, pt 2

I almost forgot that I hadn’t posted the next part to this chapter. Aside from mundane responsibilities, there have been some artistic distractions as of late. I’ll dispense with the mundane and quickly comment on the artistic. I’ve been reading a lot about the craft of fiction and what separates quality fiction from the lack-luster. With much depression, I came to the conclusion, that what I have written and posted so far is closer to the lack-luster. However, I do believe I have the remedy. Long story short, me next step will be to re-write what has been posted so far and enhance its drama (“drama” used here in it most rudimentary definition). Never the less, I’m still posting the next part of chapter three. Expect a hiatus from this story. I’ll more than likely be working on my Fiction as Technique blog and re-writing what I have already posted here. Of course, as the chapters are re-written, I will be re-posting them in their revised form.

Thank you for your time,

~D. C. Major

 

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The patient doesn’t see reality the same way anymore. There is the well-documented inability to judge depth. However, there is a more metaphysical symptom involving visual perception. The mind doesn’t make emotional connection to visual stimulus. The patient feels that nothing is real; everything is made of plastic, or has been replaced with replicas. Keep in mind, the patient does not question what reality is. In fact, the patient will administer normal reality testing and have full awareness of the ego’s place in reality. The symptom is strictly perceptual. Though all is known to be real, nothing appears so. This applies to inanimate objects as well as animate objects, including interpersonal connections to individuals. [P] always describes it as watching his life at the movies. He can see and interpret it, but can’t interact with it. The ego has disassociated from the perception, hence the name, “Disassociation.”

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Regardless of healthy reality testing, the brain does continually administer the test excessively in response to the altered visual stimulus. The stress of constantly questioning reality must have been formidable. I remember him not sleeping, not even sitting down or slowing for up to three days at a time. His body never rested. I’m no biologist, but I’m one of the best behaviorist and I know the mind needs sleep to hold its grip together on reality. This is a fact for the healthiest minded.

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I wonder what he saw. His stories were beautiful. How he touches the hearts and souls of so many, but the man, the person, the human, is devoid. He is the automaton. There is no ghost inside the shell. Not a liar, but a scientific anomaly. Deeply in tuned to the shared humanity of all, but never able to feel it himself.

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It saddens me. You don’t see individuals like him in their old age. Their lives are too often short and tragic. They kill themselves. Sometimes they kill others too. Most drink themselves to death and in that same vein are those lost to drug abuse. All are Walkers on the Trail, bare to the elements, dying by the ripe-old age of 60, of natural causes…    but unnatural circumstances. Their only functional option is to avoid permanent institutionalization and do their best to cope. The condition is chronic. And now…

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…and now I walk to my death, wherever it may be. To take control of my destiny, and my thoughts are on [P] and what will become of him when I’m gone. Who will take care of him? I don’t care what anyone says, he can’t do it on his own. What he does on his own is not taking care of himself. He only slowly destroys himself. He leaves himself susceptible to VULTURES! Like that vial BITCH who calls herself his wife! And that, that,… agent who openly admits that he’s only in it for HIMSELF!

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Note! Cut and edit first half. File under “Salmon Beach.” Edit second half. File under “Walkers.”

 

I heard the mechanical “click” of the recorder head being turned off. As I reached for the recorder, I heard the head click back on.

 

[T’s Voice]: Note! Correction to last notation. Cut and edit first half. File under “Salmon Beach.” Cut and Edit second half. File under, “Family.”

 

The recorder head clicked off once more. There were no more recordings on that cassette.